Why You Need Boundaries
(Photo of salt flats in Cabo Rojo, PR: Discover Puerto Rico)
Your life story is shaped by what you are saying "yes" and "no" to. So choose wisely!
You might already be aware of the concept of "setting boundaries" but may not be sure where to start or how it works.
Think of your boundaries as your inner compass. It is always there, constantly sending you messages, whether you are listening to it or not. It can guide you through situations if you let it.
You may sometimes say "yes" to something you don't quite feel aligned with out of obligation or fear of losing someone else's approval. However, when you move past those feelings (fear, approval-seeking, unworthiness) and allow that inner compass to be your guide, you will notice a feeling of ease in life. It knows better than you do, so trust it.
Boundaries show self-respect. They are meant to protect your energy so that you don't feel drained and stuck in life.
In order to have what we call "strong boundaries" you will need to tolerate your tumultuous emotions. These emotions will wash over you and compel you to accept less than what you truly deserve, like a call from a horrible ex, toxic friends or family, or settling for a less-than-fulfilling job. When you detach from those feelings, you'll be better able to follow the guidance of your inner compass.
Just like with the weather, you need to ride out the storms to enjoy the clear, sunny days. Some days your mind will feel clouded. Other times it will be clearer and more in tune with your inner compass. Just become aware of it. And the next time you are in a situation that threatens your happiness, balance, enjoyment or rest, allow your inner compass to guide you despite your discomfort. Try to let go of your need to control or to know the outcome of any situation.
In conclusion, boundaries are self-care. Separate your fleeting emotions from your true self so that you can live more enjoyable experiences, feeling balanced, rested and happy.
Check out Dr. Nicole LePera (@the.holistic.psychologist on Instagram) for helpful tips on managing boundaries.